Page 25: What Does Your Canvas Look Like?
Sometimes we face hardships that make us question why we do what we do. Hardships that make us question everything: Is the fight even worth it? Does it matter? Do I matter? Why am I fighting? When is it ever going to end? The kind of questions that make us doubt every decision we’ve ever made.
A few years ago, I was facing obstacle after obstacle, and it sucked. I felt as if I was getting hit and tackled from every direction. Every time I tried to come back up for air, I got knocked down again. Do you know those fight scenes in movies where one person keeps getting their head shoved down underwater? They try to take a breath, but they can’t because their enemy keeps shoving their head underwater. That’s what I felt like kept happening to me.
I was at a conference, and I remember crying out to God in my heart, saying, “God, I can’t even focus on what the speaker is saying. When is this going to end? I don’t have it in me to continue fighting anymore. I just want to be happy and love life again.”
Immediately I felt the Holy Spirit say,
“Paige... EVERYTHING you are facing, EVERYTHING you are battling, EVERYTHING you are feeling, EVERYTHING… is so that you can lead, teach, and help your children in a way that NO ONE else can. IT’S ALL FOR YOUR KIDS, Paige. Keep fighting.”
In an instant, peace swept over me. It doesn’t mean the fight became easier or that the fight ended; it just made the fight SO MUCH MORE WORTH IT; it put the fight back into perspective. My biggest dream in life is to be a mom, so what the Holy Spirit was saying to me was that everything is preparing me for the dream God has placed in my heart. So, for you, it may be starting a business, writing a book, becoming an actress, etc. Your fight, whatever it may look like, is preparing you for your dream.
Now, every time I face an obstacle, encounter an unfair situation, get my feelings hurt, experience rejection, and disappointment, I go back to that moment and think of my future children. I think of what my children will experience and how they will experience certain situations. I think of the legacy I am creating NOW, years before I ever meet my children. To go back to the question of why am I fighting? I’m fighting for my future. I’m fighting for my family. I’m fighting for my children. I’m fighting FOR THEIR future. What will I teach my kids? How will I set the example for them? Will they be people who are timid and back down because it gets hard because that’s how their mom responded? Or will they be fighters, people who tackle obstacles head-on because they know their God is bigger than any obstacle?
I don’t know what your dream is. I don’t know what your fight looks like right now. Maybe you’ve been fighting for years on end, or perhaps you’re not experiencing a fight at this point in your life.
Wherever you find yourself today, can I encourage you? The dream God has placed in your heart is your future. Your fight is for your future. Your fight is for the person following behind you. Don’t give up. Don’t back down. Get back up and fight. Fight better, fight faster, fight stronger… because you have the power of God backing you and dwelling IN you.